Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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