Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
