The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
