Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
