chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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