so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
