The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
