So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
