I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
