It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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