we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
