hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
