Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just pee around me
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
