I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
