Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
No subtext here. People are naked.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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