Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
