Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
