I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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