at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
