I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
my poor anus
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
