Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
