i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
