I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
