U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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