Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
