I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
