Just cropdusted the office
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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