"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
