Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
