i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
