She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
