I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
