It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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