my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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