as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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