i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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