It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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