why do cheetos always look like penises
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
