Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
