no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
