We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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