U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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