you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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