I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
