I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
