i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
