so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
