She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
