I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
