I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
This gyro tastes like lonliness
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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